But, I Love You
by noburanger
Summary: Kise is a student at Art University. He fall in love with his Neighbor and then he became obsessed with his neighbor. Have you heard that genius and crazy just separated by one thin line? Yes, that's him. AU A KikuroAo fan fiction
1. Sky in Your Eyes

**But, I love You**

****_by Nobu_

_**Disclaimer : **Kuroko no Basuke belong to Fujimaki Tadatoshi-sensei. I don't use them for money, so don't sue me.  
_

_**Beta-Reader : **Nindiorz twitter  
_

_**Rating : **T  
_

_**A/n : **Okay, I made this for DiDi. I love Kikuro while her love AoKuro till death separate them, so I write a triangle love story w w w. I'm not that good at english but I tried and fortunately Nindi helps me a lot^^ The update might be slow sine I'll prepare for mid semester exam and camping along two weeks T^T sorry.  
_

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**Chapter 1: Sky in your Eyes**

Kise's fingers traced every curve of the lines on his painting. He could smell the oil paint scent on the air, he had just painted it few minutes ago and it must be wet. His golden eyes exuded a feeling of melancholy and restrained passion at the same time. Kise Ryouta was standing in front of his painting, the color of the sky was filled the canvas and Kise's fingers were still on it.

Kise's fingers stopped wandering. The other hand was stuck on the surface of the canvas. Kise slowly tilted his head, he moved forward inch by inch closer to the canvas, and eventually his lips touched the canvas—Kise bent down to kiss his painting. After he gave one kiss on top of his painting, he pulled away and uttered a sentence, "I love you, Kurokocchi …."

.

.

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The blond guy tightened his drawstring bag and closed his painting studio. Again, he felt so lonely. He knew that he spent his time in a room too long. Hanging out with oil paint, white canvases, those brushes, and … his new obsession.

Kise began to obsess with light blue color this month, and he was trapped at one situation he had never experienced before.

Fall in love.

Kise loved his neighbor—Kuroko Tetsuya—was it easy? Yeah, he fell in love at the first sight. Without he realized, he drew Kuroko's picture on canvasses for few times. He changed his paintings' objects; he let his obsession draw those pictures.

Kise became very obsessed with Kuroko, he wanted him. He wanted to touch Kuroko's body with his fingers, kissing his lips gently and burying his head on Kuroko's neck while inhaling his scent. However, it was nothing more than a dream.

Kise stopped the bus and walked into his apartment—it was a large building with luxurious look. Kise had been living alone since his parents got divorced; he managed to earn money by himself though his parents still sent him some for his college fee. Entering art school wasn't cheap and easy, he needed to buy some stuff and lots of books.

Kise opened the door and then threw his shoes. He walked into the bedroom and dropped himself on the bed. The pillows were comfortable and they felt good on his face. He closed his eyes for a while and then peeked at the clock, it was 8 PM. No wonder why the sky looked so dark, he thought.

He let out a small hum and rose from his bed. He decided to take a bath since he was very tired after preparing some paintings for his exhibition this week. He walked slowly; without noticing that he stepped on some paint and make mess everywhere. He took off his clothes and threw it away, it full of paint stains. Really stink.

When he was about to wrap the towel around his neck, his phone began to vibrate and ring. It was a phone call. He grabbed his flip phone and without looking at the screen he brought his phone into his left ear, "_Moshi-moshi?_ Ah … Kurokocchi?" he wanted to smile but he was afraid that he might tear his own face.

He could feel how Kuroko's tiny lips moved; uttering each sentences. Kise walked back into his room and grabbed a small canvas next to the closet and took brushes with the pallet. He never understood why he must be obsessed with this weird guy? Was it because he was a weirdo too?

Kise never knew the reason behind his feelings towards Kuroko. He thought that he couldn't ever fall in love after his parents got divorced, but Kuroko gave him a different scent. But it couldn't be considered as a good thing too, since Kise never felt any benefits from his feelings.

Kise chuckled as Kuroko talked about his theatre performance, it was just too funny for having an expressionless guy on theatre stage. "But I always like you, Kurokocchi …." Kise said with a fake tone. He need to hide everything from him.

Kise keep listening at him while his hands began to move, he drew one line, two lines, dozens of lines connected to each other. Straight, curved, and circular. He drew something again but this time he wouldn't take it into his exhibition. "Yes? I know, I know …." Kise laugh again; his canvas now covered in the baby blue color.

Kise had only loved yellow—before he met Kuroko Tetsuya who made his soul change. He began to love blue color and he loved the empty sky because they reminded him about Kuroko.

"Kurokocchi …? Oi?" Kise heard a long buzzing sound from his phone; suddenly he dropped the brush and palette.

His hands were stained from touching the surface of the canvas again, this time he moved his face closer until touched the paintings. Blue paints were littering on his skin, "You are so beautiful," he said.

Now the painting was messy, the colors were mixed and become indeterminate. Kise didn't know what to do, he was very confused. Though Kuroko was never far from him—he stayed next door—though he rarely let out any noises, Kise knew that Kuroko was always stay on his room—struggling with his college assignments and also … a very lonely life.

Become obsessed over Kuroko was difficult.

"Kise-kun?" he heard a bell sound and Kuroko called him from the outside.

Kise didn't think about anything, he just let his stuff make some mess everywhere and opened the door. He didn't even realized that his face still dirty caused by the paints.

A light blue haired guy was standing in front of his apartment door, his eye bags made him look like a panda. Kise found it very adorable. "Hi," he simply said with a monotone.

Kise smiled, "You need something, Kurokocchi?" now he put another fake smile, wider than before.

Kuroko just looked up at the blond guy; he raised on of his eyebrow when he saw Kise's beautiful face covered with blue paints on the left side. Kise smelt like oil paintings while he smelt like a trash, how perfect. Kuroko admit that he didn't take a bath for three days because of his theatre performances.

"did you paint something before I came?" Kuroko asked.

"Well … yes," he couldn't lie this time. The paint was still dripping from his hand.

He never showed Kuroko one of his paintings—Kuroko's paintings—he just showed Kuroko some of his abstracts work. If he had known that then it must have been the end of the world, Kise would end up committing suicide.

"Can I come and see your work?"

Kise snapped back into reality, he blinked his eyes for few times before uttering, "Huh? But it's still … wet, I can't show you,"

"You're a genius, why must you afraid of an idiot like me?" he said it with a flat expression, it made Kise want to eat him up.

The painter didn't say anything he just moved aside so Kuroko could walk in and saw his mess room. The young blue haired guy walked toward Kise's room, his blue eyes were scanning every corner of the room. It smells like Kise's soul. His gaze stopped on a painting near the closet—a blue painting was still wet.

"It's beautiful," Kuroko said as he grabbed the canvas.

"_Yeah, very beautiful … like you,"_ but Kise couldn't say it. Kuroko was asking about what's the theme of that painting but Kise didn't answer him, he just let him guess. Kise wouldn't reveal the truth that he drew Kuroko's eyes but because of his weird habit he messed his own work. Yes, it was Kuroko's eyes. Blue and dazzling.

"You drew a sky, right?" Kuroko turned his head; his icy blue eyes linked on Kise's eyes.

Kise's face flushed but he didn't say a word. He looked deep into Kuroko's eyes, and smiled again. Yes, he could see the sky there.


	2. Stained Canvas (1 of 2)

**But, I love You**

_by Nobu_

_**Disclaimer : **__Kuroko no Basuke belong to Fujimaki Tadatoshi-sensei. I don't use them for money, so don't sue me._

_**Rating : **__T_

_**A/n : **__Sorry, I'm lack on my updates ._.) well, school really tied everything._

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**Chapter 2: Stained Canvas (1 of 2)**

Kise was standing in front of his masterpiece; a painting about the sky, the sea and the sun light blended together. He put another fake smile and laughed while explaining about his art, that time he lied too much. Not only his smile, but also his painting as well.

Kise was asked by his professor to draw something on an A1 canvas, just to make sure that Kise showed his skill to other university colleagues. Kise didn't refuse, it was easy. But he must admit that his hand was trembling if he remembered about that tragedy—yes, for him that time was a tragedy.

.

.

.

Kise used to be alone though a lot of people wanted to be close with him, he always loved his lonely self. It was a habit and he couldn't help himself from it. Was he a weirdo from the start? No.

He could recall the same dream every time; the image of his parent left was lingered in his mind. Kise—he's one kind of human who had a bad past which changed him into a different person. You wouldn't everimagine the image of seeing your mother being fucked by another man while your father started slicing the surface of your neck and then committed suicide after divorcing from your mother in front of your eyes. You couldn't and you don't want that kind of thing happened to you.

Kise Ryouta was looking up; seeing a Sunflower above him when he played at the kindergarten's backyard. He loves them, they were so huge and tall; the blue sky also made him open his mouth for a laugh. He ran towards his classroom and came back with a sketch book on his left hand while the crayon boxes were on his right hand.

Kise opened the last page of his sketch book—decided to draw something that time.

The little Kise thought he could make the situation at his home better with his sunflower picture but he was wrong. The situation never changed.

Kise ran out from kindergarten—decided to go home early—since he couldn't wait to see his mother expression right after she looked at his sunflower pictures. He knew that his mom always loves sunflower, she ever told him that Sunflower made her heart better and happy. Kise wanted to see her smile and feel her warmth again.

Kise kept running, across the street though he trembled and reached home by his own feet. He opened the door, stepping his little foot. He wanted to yell but his mom became really cold lately, so he tried to walk calmly though he really wanted to meet his mom as soon as possible.

Kise stepped on the stairs but suddenly his ear caught some weird sound coming from his parent's room. Kise was worried—that five year old kid was worried that a bad person had sneaked into his house and caught his mom. He ran and peeked through the door, his eyes became wider. His jaw dropped and his body trembled.

On the bed that covered with a white sheet, his mom was laying and a strange man thrust himself towards his mom. That woman who closed his eyes and smiled in satisfaction was his mom, and she moaned another man's name for a few times.

Kise's body trembled and he ran away. Though he was still five, he knew what's going on that time. He knew that his mom was cheating on his dad; she slept with another man and planned to throw him away too. No wonder she came home late, being cold along this time.

Kise could feel his tears running down from his eyes to his cheeks and fall like rain when they reached the edge of his face.

Kise went home and decided to sleep in his room since his mom had already left again with that man. Kise tried hard to shut his eyes while hugging his sunflower pictures, his tears already stopped but he couldn't sleep and let the beautiful dreams touch his mind.

After struggling for two hours he managed to sleep, perhaps because his energy was lost after crying for about one hour. Kise's mind covered with fears, he couldn't let his father know … or had he already known about that?

Kise was about to fall into his deepest part of his sleep when he felt a cold sensation on his skin, slowly they felt so hurt; Kise screamed. On his mind an image of a monster was haunted him, but when he opened his eyes he could see his own father sat on the edge of his bed; holding a knife.

A pair of the other golden eyes feel like stabbing on him, "Ryouta," he called.

Kise's body became trembling again. Kise's mind became worse.

The blood was stained on his draw, the yellow color of sunflower covered with red color. It killed him. His mouth opened but he couldn't say a word.

"I've divorced your mom," that man said and stroked his son's hair with his left hand while his right hand holding a knife. Kise started to sob. "That bitch … she decided to leave us, Ryouta," he said again.

"Dad—i-it's hurts …." Kise's lips trembled.

"I know, but your mom hurt me too. I don't want you to go with her, leave me alone here," his father moved the knife—started to sliced(slice) his skin, "you love me too, right? Want to go with me, Ryouta?"

Kise shook his head, he was scared.

"Ryouta, I'm lonely here, you see? Your mom left us! Please go with me, 'kay?" his father cried, Kise could feel that his hands were trembling too. Kise was just a small kid, he didn't know anything. He just uttered a 'yes' word without sounding from his tiny lips. His father smiled and hugged him for a second, and then continued to slice Kise's skin.

He started to swing the knife but then he stopped. Kise was frozen, that man cried hard. "I-I can't do this to you … I can't, you're my son and I can't …" Kise sobbed even more, that big house was filled with scream. "Ryouta, I'll kill my self first and then … Ryouta, obey my words okay?" Kise cried and nodded, "do what I do,"

Kise's father rose up and walked towards the window. He opened them and climbed; Kise moved his feet slowly and then he could see his father jumped out from his room through the window. Kise stepped back, he dragged his little foot into corner and hugged his knees. Hands on his hair, blood running from his neck and the night wind blew from window sending shivers through his body.

That time, Kise Ryouta became worse.

.

.

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"Kise-kun," that voice disturbed his mind again.

Kise turned his head and saw Kuroko standing behind him, exhibition brochure on his hand and his icy blue eyes looked at him. Kise smiled, and then he greeted the little guy.

"You really came, I'm so happy!" he said with cheerful tone.

Kuroko's lip curved a thin smile, it warmed Kise's heart. "You did a great job, Kise-kun …." He said.

"Thank you, having you come like this I feel so bad towards you,"

"Why?" Kuroko tilted his head.

"I just came to your theatre performance once, I'm so sorry …"

"It's fine, since you're busy. My theatre wasn't that good; I was planning to stop,"

"Huh? Why?"

Kuroko seemed hard to say something; he shut his mouth and looked away. The blond boy keep push him to spit out his reason, Kuroko kept shaking his head but he decided to open his mouth since Kise couldn't stop asking him about his reasons.

Kuroko bit his lower lip before speaking, "I—I don't want to be a theatre actor, but I want to be a director,"

For the first time on his life, Kise saw Kuroko's light blue eyes sparkled. Though he still put the same face as usual; flat without expressions, Kise still felt Kuroko's passion. Kuroko was serious.

"Then, why you don't start to write?"

"It's not like I don't have any good stories … I believe that I can write,"

Kise tilted his head; his hand rested on the edge of the table, "Then, why?"

"I know how to start but I don't know how to end my story," Kuroko inhaled a deep breath, "You see, here, at this campus you can meet lot of people with different personalities," Kuroko broke into a thin smile.

Kuroko told him that he got lot of inspirations through his own life; he couldn't even believe that Kuroko wrote about him too. He explained Kise as someone who could bring the world through canvasses and oil paintings, Kise was a sun light. Sun light? Kise laughed over that diction. Why must a sun light? He hated sun for a long time.

Kise just knew Kuroko, Kuroko only. He didn't know anyone; he always put himself in the corner of crowded people. Being alone was fine but together with Kuroko was better. Kuroko could bring him into the new world, adding a new color in his life though it didn't make any change that much since his life was still dull day by day.

Kuroko walked towards the gate with Kise beside him, Kise's hand was full of oil paint. Stink. Kise just followed Kuroko's step though he didn't know the reason. The strains of his baby blue hair enchanted him, Kise fell more for Kuroko. He wanted to run his hand through that hair and kissed them, they must be sweet like vanilla.

Enough with this dream, Kise told himself. He needed to meet his personal psychic again to get rid of Kuroko;s image but why he must feel so hurt and tortured whenever he want to forget about Kuroko?

"Lots of people came here, huh?" Kuroko nudged at Kise's arm; the blond guy laughed.

"Thanks to you, Kurokocchi," Kise stroked Kuroko's light blue hair, finally. But he quickly pulled his hand away before he did anything bad. Kuroko didn't understand and yet Kise couldn't help himself from his weird habit.

He wanted to touch Kuroko, right? Then, why must he hold back everything?

It's confusing him.

Sometimes he thought that the feeling he had wasn't love, but obsession instead. Kise ran his hand through his hair and smiled; weakly. The feeling when Kuroko's light blue hair brushing against his hand was really blissful, he became interested in grabbing a white canvas and drawing that little guy again.

He could hear Kuroko mumbled something, and then Kise turned his head toward Kuroko again.

"What's wrong, Kurokocchi?" he asked, eyebrows wrinkled.

"I just read your description about this painting, Kise-kun," Kuroko touched the brown frame of painting, his lips curved into a thin smile. "Really great," he added following by Kise's laugh.

"Is that so? I named it as _spell_,"

"Spell?" Kuroko raised one of his eyebrows; Kise nodded. "As I thought, the red color looked like blood that dripping from the sky, really,"

Somehow, Kise felt like being praised. He could feel the clouds brushed against his skin, and the air was dancing inside his nose and lungs. The word blood that slipped from Kuroko's lips made him smiled without reason.

"I want to see a paint that painted with real blood," Kuroko muttered.

"Why?"

"That will be cool, right?"

Kise sneered, "I don't know that Kurokocchi had a taste for horror stuff,"

Both of them laughed; but something crossed on Kise's mind.

"What if I re-draw them?" Kise asked; Kuroko just muttered a 'huh' before smiling again.


End file.
